Shaken, Not Stirred (Classy Classic Car Rental)

By Triumph, the Misguided Marvel

I was born for espionage. Or so I thought.

With my sleek frame, whisper-quiet engine, and a dashboard that practically begs for missile launch buttons, I was convinced I’d be racing through European alleyways, dodging bullets, and saving the world alongside James Bond.

Instead, I shuttle couples to hotels.

Don’t get me wrong—chauffeur life has its perks. I’m pampered, polished, and praised for my punctuality. But every time I glide up to a hotel entrance, I imagine it’s a secret MI6 rendezvous. When someone says, “Let's get going,” I fantasize about high-stakes chases, not cuddles in the back seat.

I listen for code words in small talk. I scan briefcases for gadgets. I dream of ejector seats and underwater modes. But alas, my most dangerous mission? Not over-heating with newly-weds in tow.

Still, I hold out hope. Maybe one day, Bond will need a car that blends in. One that’s used to discretion, smooth rides, and knowing when to stay silent.

Until then, I’ll keep my tires polished and my dreams turbocharged.

#rentaclassiccar